Telephone Game
by Fire.Mokey
Summary: So when Kaiba described his future spouse, Yugi and Tea thought it was a cat, Joey and Tristan misheard he got fat, Duke and Mai just tagged along, Marik thought he was gay and Bakura just wanted to piss Kaiba off. It was indeed a facinating day.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. Please enjoy :)

* * *

It was a tranquil and quiet morning in the game shop since the store wasn't open yet. Yugi and his grandpa were wide awake as usual, tending to there own morning business and thoughts. Unfortunately their morning silence was brashly broken when I pretty figure with short brown hair and bright cerulean blue eyes came flying through the front door of the game shop in such a hurry she almost knocked his grandpa over.

"Oh Tea?" Yugi's grandpa smiled cheerily, "it's so nice to see this morning, how 'bout a nice cup o-"

"Sorry Mr. Moto, really, just- I-I…I can't!" She said, panting as she rushed past him and up the stairs.

"I really sorry! I'll make up to you later, promise!" She yelled reaching the top. Mr. Moto merely smiled knowingly form the bottom of the staircase, before turning around and resuming to his previous work.

Suddenly he stopped and looked back around, "oh…oh no, I forgot to tell Tea! Yugi usually doesn't wear his proper clothing in the morning," he said aloud, scratching his head.

"Oh well, I guess it'll be okay…" he trailed of, as he walked out the door to water the plants.

"Oh my god, Yugi, you won't believe what I just- ew. " Tea stared at the sight in front of her, raising a brow.

"What? Haven't you ever heard of knocking, Tea?" Yugi said, rolling his eyes, as she gave him a once and over. The fact that he was only in boxers was hardly a new thing to her, apart from the thought that he was clearly struggling to get into his pants.

Tea laughed openly, "would you like some help Yugi?" She asked teasingly as Yugi sighed.

"No Tea, I'm perfectly capable of restoring this belt to it's original shape on my on," he retaliated, trying to fix what seemed to be a slightly broken belt.

"So, what's this news you've been wanting to tell me?" Yugi asked, while working on his belt. Tea shoved some of his clothes aside a seated herself down casually.

" Well….you won't believe me if I told you, but Kaiba called me," she said a bit to calmly.

"Oh? Kaiba called, well, that's great, he called…Kaiba….called YOU?" Yugi snapped his head around, finally realizing what she said. He looked at her with wide eyes as she nodded.

" What? I thought he only called_ me_," Yugi said in all seriousness, as he stared out the window, his belt all fixed. Tea felt her jaws drop.

"He calls you?" She said, horrified. Something's were really left better untold.

Yugi shook his head vigorously, "never mind that, what did he say? Does he have another tournament, or did his butler die again?" He questioned.

Tea looked puzzled again, but shook her head, "no, he said to call back."

Yugi laughed, " then what're you waiting for? Call him, what's the worst that could happen?" He smirked, crossing his arms. Tea nodded and pulled out her cellphone and began punching numbers, before holding it up to her ear.

"Hello….Kaiba?" She asked hesitantly. It wasn't like he was going to shoot her through the line, but the feeling of him not responding was quite worrying itself.

"Gardener, jeezus fuck, I thought I told you to call three hours ago?" He snapped rudely without a 'hello'.

Tea coolly replied, " well I'm sorry Kaiba, but not everyone is nocturnal like you, and actually prefer sleep over work. Now what's the big news?" She said, getting straight to the point. Yugi was leaning on the wall, listening intensely.

"I have a friend…."

Tea raised a brow, "right…"

"WhoIlike"

"What?" Tea asked, unsure of what she heard.

"…"

"Okay then, Kaiba."

"We may be getting married."

Tea dropped the phone, surprise evident all over her face, "he said he's getting married!" She squeaked to Yugi, who jumped from his position on the wall and grabbed the phone.

"Kaiba, what is this nonsense about you marrying? Who is it? Is it your deck?" Yugi asked, waiting for an answer.

"Grow up Yugi, it's a person," he shot back coldly.

"Oh, I see…"

Kaiba chuckled from the other side of the line, "oh you'll see alright, small, ginger, petite, nice boo-uh, I have to go, Mokuba's calling me," Kaiba said shortly, cutting the line, quicker than Yugi could process the information.

He dropped the phone and looked at Tea, who titled her head in confusion, "what? What is it?" She asked impatiently.

"By the sounds of it, it seems like Kaiba's getting married to a- a cat."

"WHAT?"

And that was how the peaceful morning was brought to a close. With the new found information, it wasn't long before many others found out. Growing aware of the odd information, people started to make strange reactions of the sudden predicament. It wouldn't be long till all hell broke loose that day.

oOo

"He's _what_? Whadya' mean huh? Hey Yugi, I can't here ya buddy!" Joey sighed, turning the phone off and resuming to his habitual eating habits.

" Who was that, Joey?" Tristan asked, walking out of their shared apartment room. Joey grinned at his friends perfect arrival time.

"I dunno, Yugi just called, but I can't here I thing with all this background construction, dammit!" Joey yelled childishly, as Tristan sighed, walking into the kitchen.

"Go somewhere quiet and give him a call back," Tristan suggested, grabbing a can of soda from the fridge.

Joey brightened up at the sudden idea and the only place which seemed ever so quieter than the rest was the one any only- bathroom.

"Okay, here I go," Joey said, walking into the bathroom, with Tristan following shortly behind.

With I few quick presses, Joey dialed Yugi's number and put the phone on speaker allowing Tristan to hear as well, " hello? Yugi? Ya there?" Joey called out.

"Joey you won't believe what I- I just can't believe it!" Yugi sounded baffled as ever to Joey.

"What? What? What's happenin' over there?" Joey replied back, excitedly. "Yeah, what is going on exactly?" Tristan added casually, still sipping on his soda.

"Kaiba he- he-"

"KAIBA! What? Is he dead yet, eh?"

Tristan smacked the phone out of Joey's hand, "sorry 'bout that Yugi, Joey's just getting his delusional thoughts again," Tristan chuckled, thwarting Joey out of the way with his soda can.

"Ah, it's okay, I sometimes wish Kaiba was d-never mind," Yugi said, coughing strangely.

"Okay then," Tristan said slowly, "well your gonna have to talk fast cause there's construction behind us," he added, rushing.

"Okay, so here's how it goes-"

"Sorry Yugi, we can't here ya!" Joey shouted, closing the bathroom door, "what did you say?"

"I said Kaiba's apparently getting married!"

"What? Kaiba's getting very hairy?"

"No, no, he's getting married!"

"Rabies?"

"No! Marry!"

"Babies?" Tristan blurted, quite confused at all the illiterate stuff being spurted out.

Yugi sighed, hoping they were getting all this, " yes, and it's some sort orange ginger!"

"orange virgin? What? Yugi we can barely here ya, speak up man!"

"Yes, yes and he also said something about small boobs and petite!"

" ball tubes and what? What was the last thing you said?" Joey yelled, practically shouting into the phone as Tristan tried to listen through all the hollering and construction. Domino city was far too loud today.

"And Tea and I have come to the conclusion that it's a cat!"

"What? He's gotten fat?"

"I'll tell you the details later, but drop by and we'll all head over!" Joey and Tristan heard the line cut as soon as the sound of rumbling construction stopped. Such a bad coincidence. They stood in silence, absorbing whatever Yugi had just told them. The oddness was only beginning.

"Well that was awkward," Tristan chuckled, clearly amused by the information they had received.

Joey nodded in agreement, "you bet it's weird! Lets go spread the news!" He added, as the two opened the door, laughing, unaware of the other figure standing in the apartment.

"And what, pray tell, were you two doing in the bathroom together, hmm?"

Joey and Tristan spun around at the sound of the low tone voice and it's speaker, standing at the front door way. Long black hair tied in a pony tail and swept aside, Duke stood calmly, leaning against the doorframe looking very amused.

"Devlin! Howdya' get in here?" Joey questioned walking out of the bathroom towards him.

Duke directed one thumb at the doorway, "it was open you morons," he grinned, "at least lock the door when your doing something like that."

Tristan rolled his eyes in annoyance, "we weren't. It was just too loud outside to hear what Yugi was saying," he added.

Duke stared at them, raising a brow, "uh-huh, and I suppose what Yugi was saying just _had _to be heard in the washroom, eh?"

" Actually, it kinda did," Joey smiled, sheepishly.

"Right," Duke replied lamely, "anyway, wanna head out somewhere?" He asked eagerly, changing the subject.

Tristan and Joey stared at each other knowingly, "yeah, we have a particular place we could go….but you can't come," Joey added, sticking his tongue out.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why not?" He said, growling.

"Well…because."

Now Duke was more curious than ever, clearly wanting to know what this 'place' or 'thing was. Apparently Tristan and Joey could see his willingness, making them all the more reluctant about telling him.

"I can't come?" Duke asked, as they nodded.

"Yeap."

"..."

"I have a car"

"…"

"It's red."

"Well why didn't ya say so earlier, pal!" Joey said, running over to grab his jacket. All at once, his reluctance seemed to a have disappeared. Tristan rubbed his forehead, feeling a bad headache coming on. "Alright Duke, but I'm driving…I don't even want to remember what happened when you drove last time…" he trailed off, shuddering.

Duke chuckled, nodding in agreement, "yeah, I know," he said, "but this time I've already got someone to drive us," he stated, walking out the door.

"Who?" They both asked in unison.

Duke merely smiled and walked out, "you'll see."

"Come on, let's go. We'll tell you the story on the way," Tristan said, following him out the door as Joey locked it.

"Will it be worth my time?"

"Time?" Tristan chuckled. "This'll be worth your life."

oOo

" Are you serious? Hmm, I see…well then, ah, yes, yes okay. Thank you, I'll see you there, Mai." Isis slowly put the phone, fairly stunned at the news.

"Kaiba…how did he become so…so strange?" She pondered to herself, at loss for words.

Isis stalked down the long bright hallway, stopping at a chamber near the end. Opening the door, she entered to see Marik already seated there, busily occupied with…T.V.

"What in the name of Ra do you want?" He asked bluntly. Isis sighed, pressing the off switch on the T.V. "What is it?" Marik groaned impatiently.

"Marik," Isis began, "I have some…er…how do I put this?" She muttered, rubbing her forehead. Marik watched his sister in curiosity. Obviously whatever she wanted to tell him was important- or extremely, awkwardly, corrupt information.

"Put what?"

"I have some disturbing news," she finally said, finding the right choice of words.

He laughed in response, "sister, nothing can be more disturbing than me sitting here and watching T.V, I assure you."

Isis bit her lip to stifle a small laugh, "not even disturbing as Kaiba getting very hairy and fat, and having babies and something completely incoherent about an orange virgin and ball tubes," she ended, as Marik made a twisted face.

"Okay then, never mind."

Isis nodded, "yes, the oddity levels are extreme in this case, so I'm having doubts about what is right or wrong…" she trailed off.

" Well if you ask me, it sounds something like a cross between a girl and a rapist. Maybe even a spider," Marik replied and quirked a brow.

"Who told you all this god forbidden stuff anyway?" He added, turning away to turn on the T.V.

"Well, it more of a chain, really. From the pharaoh, to Tea, to Joey, Tristan, Duke, Mai, myself and now you," she ended calmly. Marik was astounded by the number of people who had heard of all of this.

"So Kaiba _does _have friends," he said, smirking. "And here I always thought he was gay," he waved off nonchalantly, as Isis mumbled in annoyance.

"Well I'm going over there myself now, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving then," she stated, briskly walking towards the chamber doors.

Marik got up, and dusted his pants, "I'll be joining you then…after all the, pharaoh will be there," he smiled, slightly wickedly. Isis said nothing in response, but simply looked ahead.

The two walked out the chamber doors in silence.

"So, where exactly does this fat, hairy Kaiba live?"

oOo

"Oh that's sounds absolutely awful Tea. Poor Kaiba. Well, I'm sure we'll clear it up somehow," Bakura smiled, from the other side of the line.

"Okay then, Bakura, glad you understand," Tea replied contentedly from the other line. "Alright then, bye Tea," Bakura ended, before hanging up the phone.

"Oh I understand alright…" Bakura trailed off, slyly. Thanks to his hikari normal sweet talk, he was able to gather some uselessly good information- granted that is was correct.

_Good job…now stay there, and don't come out,_ he threatened the good Bakura. His hikari sighed, waving a hand dismissively, _I wouldn't want to come out in this type of situation anyway…besides, I believe you'd handle it better_, he replied through his thoughts.

"Handle it better? I just want the pharaohs puzzle, which just so happens to be near the Kaiba mansion," he replied aloud, sneering.

His hikari raised a brow in contemplation, _don't you want to know what happened to Kaiba? _He asked inwardly.

Bakura gave a hollow laugh, "Kaiba? I don't give bloody fuck whether he turned into a hairy alien cow that's giving birth, or if he's a orange tube virgin," he stated, "in any case, I'll be pissing him off that's for sure…and then of course, there's the pharaoh and his little parade band," he added casually.

His hikari just nodded, not really having much to say against such a shamelessly blunt statement such as the one given.

"Well then, what're we waiting for, we got a mansion to visit," Bakura smirked, walked out the front door of his house.

oOo

Kaiba walked speedily fast down his long hallway. Sometimes, he really wished he lived in a smaller house; at least navigation around the house would be easier and far more subtle. And he wouldn't have to walk down such irritating, long hallways.

While walking, out of the corner of his eyes he saw a car and some figures walking toward his front gate. He watched intently, out of curiosity, as another person with white hair popped up from behind a bush. Then two others showed up from a helicopter and another one with unusually familiar purple and yellow hair walked to the front of his door. Another dropped by- literally- to his front door.

Oh he was not liking this. Not at all.

"Mokuba, you've got five seconds to explain why the geek squad and the freak shows are the front my mansion," he stated, spinning around to face his little brother.

Mokuba stared up, hands on his hips," Seto, who was the one who told Tea about Serenity?" He asked, tapping his foot.

"Me." Came Kaiba's one worded reply.

"Exactly," Mokuba smiled, "now what do you think Tea gardener and Yugi would do with this type of information?"

Kaiba's eyes went wide for about a fraction of a second as realization dawned upon him, "oh shit."

Mokuba nodded, but Kaiba suddenly held a hand up, "wait a minute, Mokuba," he said sharply.

"What is it, Seto?" He questioned, following Kaiba's gaze out the window.

He narrowed his eyes, "I only told Gardener and Yugi how she looks, but I didn't have time to tell them who it was…there's something wrong here," he concluded.

"What's wrong?" Mokuba asked again, looking up at his brother.

"I'll tell you what's wrong. There's no way that these people would show up at the Kaiba mansion without a really logical reason or and extremely stupid cause. Either one, I can't have them loitering around on my property," he smirked, crossing his arms.

"So what do we do?"

"They're guests. Let's greet them."

oOo

"Okay, someone open the god damn door, my hands hurt from banging it," Duke groaned, rubbing his palm. Tea sighed meekly.

She pointed above his head, " there's something called a doorbell, Duke. Use it," she added.

"Oh," he replied, ringing it multiple times, over and over.

"I think that's enough," Yugi stated, arms crossed.

Tristan shook his head, "are you kidding, it's never enough if it's Kaiba," he stated.

Joey looked around, scratching his head in awe, "whoa, is this really the Kaiba mansion? Sweet!"

"Of course it's the Kaiba mansion. Did the overly large 'K' on top not tip you off, Wheeler?"

The group spun around to face Kaiba standing there in all his pride a glory, hands tucked neatly in his coat pockets.

"Kaiba, what is meaning of this?" Yugi spoke at once, standing at the front.

Behind him, stood Mai, Tea and duke, "Exactly, Kaiba, what's wrong with you? Your nothing like what they described you as earlier," Mai added, jumping in.

Kaiba glared at the group, "my thoughts exactly. What the fuck is going on here?"

"We should be the one's saying that," Tristan shot back, leaning on the large gate.

"Can't we all discuss this inside like civil people?" Mokuba suggested, from the sidelines, as the others stared at him, long and hard.

"Good idea. Let's chat over a pleasant cup of tea." The group turned around to see Isis and Marik walking towards, calm and collected.

" Or how 'bout I pour that cup tea over you instead?" A certain white headed spirit said, appearing out of the shadows. Yugi and Marik were hardly succeeding in keeping their anger contained and it was pretty clear to the rest of them, that they would not get along.

Kaiba looked around, not wanting to create a scene he decided, for the best, that they should head inside.

"Fine," He grunted, as he ordered his 'new' butler to take them into on of their many living rooms.

"So Kaiba's got it all fancy shmancy," Joey sulked and Mai slapped him lightly on the head.

She snorted at his comment,, flipping her long blond hair, "so what? Doesn't change the fact that he's downright arrogant prick, does it?" The others couldn't help but nod in agreement.

oOo

Kaiba seated himself at the front arm chair, which just so happened to be the largest one present in the room. "So let's get down to this shall we?" He began professionally. All that was lost in the next few words.

"Now," he said, slamming his hand on the table, "someone better tell me what the fuck is going on and how this deranged group came to be."

"Where's the 'pleasant cup of tea'?" Duke asked, looking around.

Kaiba stared at him in irritation, "shut it Devlin, I'm not even sure why you're here, but whatever partake you had in this was probably just as bad."

Duke merely glared back, but sat down on one of the many sofas scattered around. Once the group was all cozy and seated, silence spread over. And after a few moments, it became obvious that Kaiba was done his talking and was waiting for some decent answers.

"So- where did this all begin?" Yugi finally spoke. Immediately, Bakura jumped into the conversation, clearly having a lot to say about the last few hours.

"I'll tell you where it began, it was when you and your friendship preacher decided to round about everyone and tell them about Kaiba marrying a cat!"

"I… beg your pardon?" Kaiba asked ,not entirely sure he heard correctly.

Ignoring him Tea gazed at Bakura coldly, "I told the good Bakura, not you, you thief," she noted back, as he glared daggers at her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your touching moment, but can we get back to the part where, I believe, you said I was marrying a cat," Kaiba stated, trying to keep his composure.

"Cat?" Joey said suddenly, looking very confused. He turned to Tristan who nodded as well, " Yugi didn't you say Kaiba was hairy, or having babies or something?"

Kaiba's face was quite priceless at the moment, "Where the hell do you see hair on me, apart from my head and maybe a cloth covered place, wheeler," he wheezed out.

Joey shrugged and turned towards Yugi, who seemed to be 'face-palming'. "I said, apparently Kaiba's going to marry, not get hairy or have babies," he said, hiding his face, because really, he was trying to hold back a large rumble of laughter rising up his throat. As was Marik, who was tightly clutching the armrest, to stop himself from doubling over.

Duke and Mai looked at each other, "so are you saying the rest of the gibberish you two were saying was probably false too?" Duke said aloud.

Mai crossed her arms, "yeah, like the part about the orange virgin and ball tubes, as well as where you mentioned that Kaiba was fat?" she added, looking at her nails.

Yugi shook his head again, "no Joey, Tristan, I said we thought he was marrying a cat, not getting fat," he corrected.

"I heard he was a gay spider."

Everyone stared at Marik while he looked out the window obliviously, not quite aware of the effect he had on them after what he had just said.

Kaiba was practically struggling to not toss the nearest vase at one of them, "so this is what we all gathered here for?" he breathed out.

Bakura grinned wolfishly, " let me sum this up for you fucking nicely," he began,

" basically, what you told friendship preacher and the pharaoh was changed, which was then changed by these two mentally deranged mortals, who told these two random fools, which was then passed onto the tanned one there and her brother, and then finally to me, thanks to the friendship preacher," he stated smugly, leaning on the sofa.

" I don't get it," Mokuba said, with wide eyes, "what does this have anything to do with Kaiba's original message?"

Yugi's curiosity piped up again, "Kaiba, what were you saying at the beginning again?"

So by now Kaiba felt like grabbing a harpoon a wailing it at someone's head. Of course, he wouldn't do that…at least not in public, but it was mainly hard to suppress such urges when these guys were wandering around in his presence.

" I was saying that I w-"

"Seto!"

The whole group spun their heads around to see the source of that sweet voice. They found her standing at the doorway, all smiles, wearing a pale blue summer sun dress, with her long orange hair out. Jaws dropped unexplainably low.

"Guess what? You won't b- what's going on here?" Serenity asked grinning, and raising a brow.

" Oh, I was just telling them about you," he said, more calm than ever. He watched her run over to his side, pulling up a chair beside him and grabbed his arm.

"So what's this all about?" she asked, still all smiles.

If Tristan and Duke were having trouble absorbing information, than Joey's condition was fairly unexplainable. "Serenity? B-but why?" He asked, as Serenity giggled.

"Oh I don't know, don't ask me things like that Joey," she replied, "it just happens," she exclaimed as the others looked shocked, yet slightly relieved at the outcome.

"So all that stuff about small, petite, ginger as in orange hair and small uhm…boobs, it was all Serenity," Tea stated in awe, as the rest of them felt a wave of exhaustion wash over them after this whole ordeal.

"I can't believe dis is happenin'….my own sister," Joey stated, as Kaiba smirked a bit, feeling better.

"Don't worry Wheeler, I'll be nice to you," he stated. If Kaiba could ever crack a joke, this would probably be as close as he gets.

Serenity punched Kaiba lightly on the arm, "hey, he's my brother, so you better be," she warned mischievously as Kaiba growled slightly in response.

Joey grinned, "heh, that's right, she'll keep you in check Kaiba! I guess we have nothing to worry about then," he added, as Serenity nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, but we'll still be watching you…Kaiba," Duke and Tristan stated, staring long and hard at Kaiba. He merely looked away.

"Well then, now that this bullshit is over, let's get down to business, Pharaoh," Bakura stated, as Yugi jumped to his feet.

"Oh great, I thought we just finished a drama? Now we're starting another one?" Mai questioned, closing her eyes. Kaiba shook his head.

"Now that this is over, for fucks sake, take this outside and not in here," he stated, getting up.

"Or why don't we just leave and let them be here," Serenity suggested, tugging Kaiba's arm. She guided him out the door. Oh the effects she had on him. They were definitely not good; if anything, they were distracting and extremely…tempting.

"You better leave, before something breaks," Kaiba pointed out coldly, and followed Serenity out the door and up the long flight of stairs.

"I wonder what they're doing…?" Isis trailed of, leaving very little to be imagined in the rest of their heads.

Marik rolled his eyes, " Please, I think we all now what they're bloody doing," he noted.

"I take note that it probably has nothing to do with the birds and bees," Mai giggled, as the others smiled in understanding.

Mokuba stared at them in confusion, "what? Whatever, I'm outta here. I'll ask call the butler to show you out," he grinned, as the others nodded, watching Mokuba leave.

"I'll be taking that puzzle of yours now," Bakura stated, getting up. Tea stood up in his way, glaring, "I don't think so Bakura!"

"Oh, so now your protection squad fucking jumps in? Well, that's just bloody great! How brave of you! Somebody give her a biscuit and milk!" He said sardonically.

"Please, let's all calm down and have some tea-"

"Fuck the tea, let's mess up his house."

"Good idea," Mai grinned, standing up.

Tristan, Duke and Joey all stood up in unison, "I'm in, let's go raid the fridge!"

"And the bedrooms!"

"And the bathrooms!"

"Do not forget about the T.V"

"What?"

Yugi sighed getting up, "guys just calm down. Let's leave now, there's not point in staying," he stated, as the others looked slightly crestfallen.

"I'm going to go check on those two," Tea said out of no where. Bakura raised a brow at her actions, "are you a pervert?"

"No." She hissed.

Yugi groaned at the groups increasingly annoying voices, "no….fine, well, I guess we can sit around a bit and wait for Kaiba to come ba-"

"Yeah!"

"Oh dear."

And so that day, Kaiba's house was never the same after that particular ordeal. There was little to say about his remaining pride, but nonetheless, he was indeed happy. The house, obviously, was left in shambles, but it was nothing Kaiba couldn't fix in say, about an hour or so. The group was never the same after that, really, apart from the old habits dying hard part. It was indeed a fascinating day.

* * *

And that's a wrap. I'm not entirely sure what brought me into writing this, but it was real fun. I know there was very little Kaiba and Serenity in it, but it was pretty much based on them, so I figured it would be fine to label it as a Seto/Serenity fic :)

I might may a sqeuel or continue it later...if I can think of something decent or time passing XD

I hope you enjoyed it, until then, ber-bye.


End file.
